A Countdown To Victory
by Carbuncle
Summary: The party travel to various places, doing various things, while they try to track down a gil thief with a bad attitude.
1. A Countdown To Victory

FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
AUTHORS NOTE: THE CHARACTER CHRIS MADE HIS DEBUT APPEARENCE IN 'A COUNTDOWN TO CONFUSION'. SINCE THEN HE HAS APPEARED IN A NUMBER OF MY OTHER FICS, SO YOU MAY WANNA READ THEM BEFORE READING THIS, TO GET THE FULL BACKGROUND ON HIM.  
  
'A Countdown To Victory'  
  
"Oh, crap! I'm fifteen minutes late!", groaned Cloud. "If I don't pick up the pace, then I'm gonna miss Tifa performing topless at Seventh Heaven!"  
  
Cloud was wandering through the dark alleyways of Sector 6, Midgar City. He'd been working out at the gym in Wall Market all day, and was now hurrying back to Sector 7, home of Seventh Heaven, where he could take some time out and relax with a cold beer. He stopped dead in his tracks when a shadowed figure leapt out infront of him.  
  
"Hey, got any spare change, dude?", the figure asked.  
  
"Geez! What the hell you doing sneaking up on people like that?!", Cloud yelled. "You wanna give me a heart attack?!"  
  
"Woah, chill out, old man! I jus' wanna know if you got any spare gil!"  
  
"Old man?! Old man?! I'm 21 years old! 22 this August! Who you calling old?!", Cloud was madder than a pissed off Tonberry at this moment. "And yes, I've got some loose gil, but you ain't getting any, punk!"  
  
"Alright! Fine! No need to bust a lung!"  
  
"Wait! I know that voice! You-You're... Chris?!", Cloud exclaimed. "Chris from the Gold Saucer?! From SOLDIER?!"  
  
The young man stepped out from the shadows. It was Chris. He looked pretty dirty and hung-over.  
  
"What the hell business is that of yours?! Get outta my way!", Chris tried to push past Cloud, who blocked his way. "I said, get outta my way!"  
  
"Look at you. You're so messed up. When was the last time you had a wash?!"  
  
"I 'unno. I probably had a shower last month while I was in Cosmo Canyon. I smell kinda mountain fresh, huh?", laughed Chris.  
  
"Mountain fresh?! Yeah, right! What you doing in Midgar?"  
  
"I'm, uh... just visiting some friends...", he replied.  
  
"Oh yeah? What are their names? I may know them."  
  
"Um... Squall... Zell... uh, Rinoa...", stuttered Chris.  
  
"I've never heard of those people. C'mon, what are you *really* doing here?"  
  
"Okay!", Chris sighed. "I'm looking for work. Any work will do. Just something so that I can get a few gil together and go visit my girlfriend in Mideel. I haven't seen her for three months and-"  
  
"Aw! So you wanna see your 'girlfriend' huh?!", Cloud interrupted. "Haha!"  
  
"Why you laughin'?!", Chris growled.  
  
"No reason! Its nothing! Hey, I think I might be able to help you. I think Tifa needs someone to do a couple of hours work a day in the bar. Whaddya think of that?"  
  
"Is Tifa... a girl?", wondered Chris.  
  
"Yeah. Why?"  
  
"I'll come check the place out. And if I like it... I just *might* take the job."  
  
"Great! I'm sure Tifa will give you a decent chance!", said Cloud. "Unless of course, you're an axe murderer or something! You're not... are you?"  
  
Later that night, back at Seventh Heaven...  
  
"Oh, no! No way, Cloud!", moaned Tifa.  
  
"Aw, c'mon Tifa! He's a good guy! I'm sure he'll try his best! Think of his girlfriend! How would you feel in his situation?!", whailed Cloud.  
  
"Grrr... Okay!", Tifa groaned.  
  
"You won't regret it, baby!" Chris bloated. "When do I start?"  
  
"You can start tomorrow!", Tifa snapped. "And don't call me baby!"  
  
The next day, Chris had started his first shift in Seventh Heaven. Tifa and Aeris watched him in action.  
  
"He moves very gracefully, don't you think?", Aeris commented.  
  
"I shouldn't say this...", whispered Tifa. "...But I have a bad feeling about this guy."  
  
Just then, Yuffie walked into the bar.  
  
"Hey everyone!", she yelled.  
  
"Do my ears deceive me?", smiled Chris. "Or is that the beautiful Yuffie?"  
  
"Aaaahhhh!", Yuffie screamed. "Its that jerk who tricked me to sleep with him!"  
  
"Oh, brother!", sighed Tifa and Aeris as they left the bar.  
  
"Yuffie, how are you doing babe?!"  
  
"I was fine! Until I saw you! What the heck are you doing here in my favourite bar?!"  
  
"You didn't know? I work here now. Old man Cloud got me a job!"  
  
"Hey! Only I call 'em old! That's my cue!", Yuffie flinched in anger.  
  
"Yuffie, what say you and I blow this pop stand and go travel the world together? We could do so much!"  
  
"Argh! I'm not goin' anywhere with you!", Yuffie stormed out of the bar leaving Chris alone.  
  
"...Looks like the coast is clear. Time for the next part of my genius plan!"  
  
Chris reached into the cash register and took out all the gil inside. He placed it inside a brown bag which he pulled from his pocket.  
  
"Heh heh... Goodbye, suckers!", he giggled. "Now... next stop... Junon!"  
  
As he ran out of the bar, Cloud and Barrett emerged from the basement.  
  
"Hey, where's that new employee?", questioned Barrett.  
  
"Uh, Tifa probably let him go for lunch.", gurgled Cloud.  
  
"At 9:00am?!", Barrett retorted. "Wait-a-minute! The cash register is empty! That Chris dude swiped all our takings!"  
  
"No way!", shrieked Cloud. "He wouldn't, would he?"  
  
"Cloud! Barrett! Where's Chris?", asked Tifa as she and Aeris came back into the bar.  
  
"...He left.", explained Cloud.  
  
"WHAT?!", screamed Tifa.  
  
"Yeah, and he, uh, stole all our money too.", Barrett added.  
  
"Oh great! Cloud, I knew he couldn't be trusted!", Tifa yelled.  
  
"Now, we don't know that Chris took the money for definite.", gulped Cloud. "Maybe he was overpowered and kidnapped by thieves."  
  
"You better hope for your sake that he was!", shouted Tifa. "C'mon guys, we gotta go track him down and get to the bottom of this!"  
  
"Well, its gonna take more than one chapter to complete this story.", coughed Aeris. "I'll have to make the best of this and live life to its fullest!"  
  
"Alright! Let's go!", yelped Barrett.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	2. A Countdown To Victory: 2nd Time Lucky

FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
AUTHORS NOTE: THE CHARACTER CHRIS MADE HIS DEBUT APPEARENCE IN 'A COUNTDOWN TO CONFUSION'. SINCE THEN HE HAS APPEARED IN A NUMBER OF MY OTHER FICS, SO YOU MAY WANNA READ THEM BEFORE READING THIS, TO GET THE FULL BACKGROUND ON HIM.  
  
'A Countdown To Victory'  
  
"Man, what a bunch of stinkin' ass losers!", Chris snickered as he drooled over his large bag of gil.  
  
He had managed to escape Sector 7 and board the Midgar train to freedom. As he sat in his seat looking out the window, he felt a sense of greatness that he had never experienced before.  
  
"Haha! Now, once I reach Junon I can board the ship to the Costa Del Sol and begin my true journey. The journey to... absolute power!"  
  
Back at Sector 7, Cloud and his friends were frantically searching for Chris, and the answers to the case of the missing money.  
  
"That does it!", snapped Barrett. "We been searchin' for ages now, and we haven't even seen one trace of the scumbag!"  
  
"We have to keep looking!", shouted Tifa. "He probably didn't have much time to get away, so he couldn't have gone far!"  
  
"I'll go check over at the Train Graveyard!", Cloud yelled.  
  
"I'll come with you, Cloud!", smiled Aeris.  
  
"Alright, you and Aeris go check the Train Graveyard, and Barrett and I will check out the remains of the Sector 7 Pillar. Good luck!"  
  
Cloud and Aeris made their way to the Train Graveyard. There were a few people hanging around there, mostly teenages. Cloud approached the train guard, who was waiting in his usual place.  
  
"Excuse me, but we're looking for someone. Have you seen them?"  
  
"Eh?! I see lots of someones! You have to more specific!", mumbled the guard.  
  
"His name is Chris. He's about 16/17 years old, dark brown hair, green eyes..."  
  
"Nice butt!", added Aeris.  
  
"WHAT?!", exclaimed Cloud.  
  
"I'm sorry, but he does!", Aeris blushed. "He might have been carrying something, possibly a sack of money."  
  
"Oh, I know the jerk you're talkin' about! Yeah, I saw him. He boarded the train outta town about five minutes ago."  
  
"Train outta town?! Five minutes ago?! Damn, then he's gone for good!", sighed Cloud.  
  
"Don't worry Cloud. We could still catch him. When is the next train?", Aeris wondered.  
  
"The next train leaves Midgar at 11:04am.", replied the guard.  
  
"Okay, Aeris, go find Tifa and Barrett. Tell 'em we're boarding the next train outta here. We can't let that bozo Chris get away with this!"  
  
Meanwhile, Chris had safely left Midgar. He was wandering about the countryside, making his way to Junon.  
  
"Hmmm, I've gotta go through the Mythril Mine to get to Junon. That's in that direction.", dictated Chris. "Wait-a-minute! Kalm is near here... Kalm..."  
  
The name brought back distant memories to Chris. Kalm was the town that born him. The town he grew up in. The town his parents lived in. The town he abandoned when he was only 14 years old.  
  
"Kalm... It-It's been so long since I went back there. Do I dare to go visit my annoying parents?", he thought. "...Sure! Why not! Maybe I'll be able to swipe some extra cash from 'em! Plus I want my childhood teddy bear! The nights have been so lonely without it!"  
  
It was raining once Chris had reached Kalm. He hurried towards his old home, and knocked on the door. An old man came and opened it.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Uh... hi... dad.", sniffed Chris.  
  
"I'm sorry, son. But I think you've got the wrong address. I don't have a son."  
  
"You don't?! Oh man, the old guy's gone senile already!", Chris shivered. "Dammit! Dad, it's me! Chris!"  
  
"Nope. I *did* have a son called Chris, but he ran away from home three years ago."  
  
"Yeah! And now I'm back, you old fart! Lemme in!"  
  
Chris burst into the house, pushing past his old man. He ran into the living room where a woman, quite possibly his mother, sat knitting next to the fire.  
  
"Can I help you, young man?"  
  
"Hi... mother. Uh, it's me, your son, Chris. You remember me, right?"  
  
"Chris! Yes! You came back! I'm so happ-"  
  
"Yeah, yeah! Can I have some money?", Chris asked while pushing her away.  
  
"Papa, our darling son came back.", his mother sniffed. "Why? Why did you leave us like that Chris? Why? You went and left us with your retard of a brother, Stewart. Life was hell!"  
  
"Aw, shut up you old bag! Can I have some money or not?!"  
  
"How much do you need, son?", his dad questioned.  
  
"30,000 gil would do. I'm travelling to world in search of adventure."  
  
"Chris, we'd be glad to give you the money. But all we ask in return is that you sit down here with us, your loving parents, and tell us exactly what you've been doing these past few years.", smirked his mother.  
  
"I been doin' a bit of everything. First I joined SOLDIER, then I became the star attraction at the Gold Saucer. I later became a journalist for the 'Midgar Times'. I've also helped save Rocket Town from giant mutant weeds and I got lucky last Valentine's Day, when I screwed a babe named Yuffie."  
  
"Oh, my! It seems like you've had a crazy time, son!", laughed his dad.  
  
"Yeah, yeah! Now gimme the damn money! Oh, and can I sleep here tonight?"  
  
"Of course!", his mother gigged. "Stewart commited suicide, so you can have his room now!"  
  
"Cool! But uh, I gotta leave early tomorrow. And if anyone calls, or comes over, I'm not here, okay?"  
  
"Okay, hun!", his mother coughed.  
  
"Hmmm...", Chris thought to himself. "I just hope those idiots from Midgar don't try to track me down. Boy, I'd be in *big* trouble then..."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	3. A Countdown To Victory: 3rd Time Lucky

FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
AUTHORS NOTE: THE CHARACTER CHRIS MADE HIS DEBUT APPEARENCE IN 'A COUNTDOWN TO CONFUSION'. SINCE THEN HE HAS APPEARED IN A NUMBER OF MY OTHER FICS, SO YOU MAY WANNA READ THEM BEFORE READING THIS, TO GET THE FULL BACKGROUND ON HIM.  
  
'A Countdown To Victory'  
  
"Hurry up, Barrett!", yelled Cloud. "Get a move on will ya?!"  
  
"I-I'm tryin'!", Barrett huffed. "W-Why don't y'all slow down?!"  
  
"We can't slow down Barrett! We have to keep going until we track down Chris.", said Tifa.  
  
Cloud, Barrett, Tifa and Aeris were wandering outside Midgar, making their way across the countryside in search of Chris, the thief who had stolen all their precious gil. They were very tired, but they couldn't afford to rest just yet.  
  
"That does it!", screamed Barrett. "I ain't goin' another mile! Y'know, we could jus' be wastin' our time here! We don't even know where the punk went! He's probably long gone! Let's jus' give up and go home!"  
  
"Barrett, that's not the kind of attitude I'd expect from you.", whispered Aeris.  
  
"Yeah, well... We have no leads or nothin'! It's stupid to even be tryin'!"  
  
"Maybe Barrett's right.", Cloud sighed. "Chris could be anywhere by now. This is pointless."  
  
"There! Ya heard it from the man! Let's go back to Midgar!"  
  
The party were just about to turn back, when they noticed Yuffie hurtling towards them. The ninja seemed troubled.  
  
"You bunch of jerks!", she howled. "Where the hell you all goin'?!"  
  
"Yuffie, what's wrong?", paniced Cloud.  
  
"What's wrong? What's wrong?! Take a wild guess, you spiky headed jerk!", Yuffie growled. "You left Midgar without so much as a goodbye! I didn't know where the heck you guys went! Why didn't ya tell me that you were goin' on adventures?!"  
  
"We're not going on adventures Yuffie.", grumbled Tifa. "We're looking for that Chris guy."  
  
"Chris?! Wha? What do you want with that asshole?!"  
  
"We think he stole all our takings from Seventh Heaven. We're gonna track him down and get some answers.", Cloud explained.  
  
"You shoulda told me!", Yuffie bloated. "I coulda helped ya!"  
  
"How can you help?", mumbled Barrett.  
  
"Are you kiddin'?! I can read scum like that like a book! If he's a thief, he shouldn't be too hard to track down. 'Sides, he told me something back in Midgar yesterday."  
  
"What did he tell you?", asked Aeris.  
  
"Hmmm, I can't remember exactly..."  
  
"Is 30 gil enough?", Tifa sighed while pulling some gil from her pocket.  
  
"Oh yeah, he said something about travelling the world.", Yuffie accepted the money from Tifa. "He wanted me to go with him! Can you believe that?!"  
  
"Travelling the world...", thought Cloud. "And he told me he wanted to go to Mideel to visit his girlfriend..."  
  
"Alright!", Tifa shrieked. "We're going to Mideel! We'll find that double-crosser and teach him not to mess with AVALANCHE!"  
  
"Right on!", belowed Barrett. "Uh, but how we gonna get to Mideel? The only way is by plane, and we ain't got no plane."  
  
"No, but we have the Highwind! Or at least, Cid has the Highwind. Damn, where is Cid when you need him?", wondered Cloud.  
  
"Just call him on the PHS!", suggested Aeris.  
  
Cloud got the PHS out of his pocket, and dialed Cid's number.  
  
"WHAT?!", snapped a voice on the other end.  
  
"...Cid? Is that you?"  
  
"YEAH! YEAH, IT'S ME!"  
  
"Woah! No need to be so rude!", Cloud flinched.  
  
"WHAT?! SORRY, IT'S A BAD LINE! I CAN'T HEAR YA, YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP!"  
  
"Okay... Um... HEY CID! IT'S ME, CLOUD!"  
  
"OUCH!", screamed Cid. "GODDAMN! THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT! WHADDYA WANT?!"  
  
"Uh... Can we borrow the Highwind?"  
  
"YA KNOW YA DON'T NEED TO ASK THAT, NUMBSKULL! OF COURSE YOU CAN BORROW HER! SHE'S DOCKED IN AT JUNON AIRPORT AS USUAL! JUST TAKE HER! BUT UH, DON'T WRECK HER OR NOTHIN' CAUSE I ONLY JUST GOT HER PAINTED!"  
  
"Hey Cid, what you up to? You wanna come with us?"  
  
"WHERE YOU GOIN'?!"  
  
"We're going after a guy named Chris. He stole all our gil and..."  
  
"NAH! I CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH WANDERING THE WORLD MAP LOOKING FOR SOME NO GOOD ASSHOLE!", Cid interrupted.  
  
"Uh, okay. Bye.", Cloud shut off the PHS. "Alright everyone, we're going to Junon. That's where the Highwind is docked. Then we'll go off to Mideel and hopefully find Chris and recover our losses!"  
  
"Sweet!", cheered Barrett.  
  
"You wanna come with us, Yuffie?", questioned Cloud.  
  
"You bet! I wanna get Chris back too! I'll never forgive him for tricking me into sle-"  
  
"That's settled then. Let's mosey!", Cloud shouted, while Yuffie droned on.  
  
"Hehe!", snickered Aeris. "I've always wanted to ride the Highwind! This is gonna be the best adventure ever!"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	4. A Countdown To Victory: 4th Time Lucky

FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
AUTHORS NOTE: THE CHARACTER CHRIS MADE HIS DEBUT APPEARENCE IN 'A COUNTDOWN TO CONFUSION'. SINCE THEN HE HAS APPEARED IN A NUMBER OF MY OTHER FICS, SO YOU MAY WANNA READ THEM BEFORE READING THIS, TO GET THE FULL BACKGROUND ON HIM.  
  
'A Countdown To Victory'  
  
"Geez, this is ridiculous! I've been waitin' here for half an hour now! Where the hell is that damn ship?!", Chris growled.  
  
Chris had arrived safely at Junon Harbour. The walk had been long and hard, but he had made it and was now prepared for the trip to the other continent. His temper had reached boiling point though, as the ship hadn't turned up yet.  
  
"Like I said earlier, it'll be here in about 15 minutes!", grumbled a nearby sailor.  
  
"Dammit!", Chris mumbled to himself. "If that ship doesn't hurry up, then I'm gonna be in deep doo-dah! Please God, please... don't let those idiotic weirdo's from Midgar be followin' me, please!"  
  
Meanwhile, Cloud and his friends had just emerged from the Mythril Mine. They were exausted, but they had to catch up with Chris.  
  
"There it is guys! Junon! We're nearly there!"  
  
"Phew! At last!", slurred Barrett. "My feet are killin' me! I need to rest!"  
  
"Relax Barrett! As soon as we board the Highwind, you can rest all you want!", Cloud laughed. "Are you okay Aeris?"  
  
"I'm fine Cloud.", the ancient smiled.  
  
"You sure? I mean, we barely escaped the Midgar Zolom, but I think you had the worst of it!"  
  
"I was a little worried when he swallowed me, but, well, you know the rest.", Aeris flinched.  
  
"C'mon, you two! Less talk and more fawlk!", whailed Yuffie. "Junon is just a few minutes more away!"  
  
Cloud and Aeris gave a short sigh, then ran off to join the rest of the party who had shot off ahead. It didn't take long until they eventually reached the seaside city.  
  
"Pee-ew!", Yuffie choked. "This place hasn't changed at all! It still smells like Barrett's mouldy old socks!"  
  
"Hey! I wash my socks three times a week, ya'here?!"  
  
"Whatever! Let's just get to the airport right away!", Yuffie snarled.  
  
Just then, the party heard the call of a familiar voice.  
  
"Cloud! My hero Cloud has returned! I knew he would!"  
  
"What the?! Oh no, its that annoying little girl... Priscilla.", he coughed. "Uh, hi Priscilla! It's good to see you again!"  
  
The young girl darted toward the party at an alarming rate. She leapt into Cloud's arms and hugged him tightly.  
  
"Have you found a good church for us to marry into yet?", she belowed.  
  
"Marry?!", exclaimed another familiar voice. It was Priscilla's grandpa. "You sick pervert! There is no way in Hell that you are marrying my six year old granddaughter!"  
  
"No! No, you got it all wrong!", Cloud stuttered in his denfence.  
  
"Oh, Cloud! I didn't know it was you! Haha! You know you are welcome to marry my Priscilla anytime you want! You've already done so much for her!"  
  
"Oooh! Cloud's gettin' married in the morning!", sang Yuffie. "Will Barrett be your best man?"  
  
"Yeah, if there's anythin' I can do Cloud, jus' ask!", suggested Barrett.  
  
"Look! Priscilla and I are *not* getting married!", Cloud screamed. "Listen Grandpa, we can't stop. We're in a hurry."  
  
"Oh, alright. Say goodbye to Cloud, Priscilla!"  
  
"Goodbye Cloud! I'll wait for you!"  
  
"Ergh!", Cloud shivered as he walked off. "Give me Tifa anyday!"  
  
The Highwind, just as Cid had said, was still docked in at Junon airport.  
  
"Okay, everyone onboard!", Cloud yelled.  
  
Barrett, Tifa and Aeris all climbed aboard. Cloud was just about to enter himself, when he noticed Yuffie hiding behind a wooden crate.  
  
"Yuffie, aren't you coming?"  
  
"Uh... I was gonna... But I get travel sickness real easy! I don't think I could make it!"  
  
"I know just how you feel Yuffie, but you have to learn to push it deep down inside of you. Then you'll be able to do anything, just like me!"  
  
"You make it sound so simple, Cloud." Yuffie slurred. "B-But I'm different to you! I don't have faith! Uh, maybe I'll stay here, if that's okay with you?"  
  
"Urgh...", groaned Cloud. "Alright. If that's how you want it. We'll go after Chris by ourselves."  
  
"Yep!", Yuffie turned away as Cloud disappeared into the Highwind. She made her way back to Lower Junon, when suddenly, she caught sight of someone she recognised down at the harbour. "Oh Gawd! It's him! It's Chris!"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	5. A Countdown To Victory: 5th Time Lucky

FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
AUTHORS NOTE: THE CHARACTER CHRIS MADE HIS DEBUT APPEARENCE IN 'A COUNTDOWN TO CONFUSION'. SINCE THEN HE HAS APPEARED IN A NUMBER OF MY OTHER FICS, SO YOU MAY WANNA READ THEM BEFORE READING THIS, TO GET THE FULL BACKGROUND ON HIM.  
  
'A Countdown To Victory'  
  
"Ah!", Chris sighed. "There's nothin' more satisfying than gettin' away with a crime! I'm practically home free!"  
  
He was laid back on a sunbed onboard the ship which had departed for the Costa Del Sol. As far as Chris knew, he had gotten clean away. But in actual fact, the Highwind and its crew were hot on his trail.  
  
"Thank goodness you spotted him, Yuffie.", smiled Tifa. "We should have no trouble getting our money back now!"  
  
"Yeah!", Yuffie agreed. "That bitch is goin' down!"  
  
"Hey, let's get this thing movin' a bit faster, huh?!", yelled Barrett.  
  
"Yes, sir!" replied the Full Fledged Pilot, as he pushed the Highwind as far as it could go.  
  
Within moments, they had docked in at the seaside resort. It was really warm as usual, but the party didn't complain.  
  
"Alright, now we just wait for Chris to arrive and then we can end this whole sorry mess!", said Cloud. "He should be here in a few hours. Lets all go have some fun until he arrives."  
  
The party spilt up and went their seperate ways. Cloud and Barrett headed over to the bar for a couple of drinks, while Tifa, Aeris and Yuffie all went man hunting over at the beach.  
  
"Thank you all for travelling with Junon Travel Express Enterprise. Please gather your belongings and get off the ship. I suggest you don't dawdle... The bandersnatchers will be released in five minutes!", exclaimed the ships captain.  
  
"Ah! At last! Now I can do all those cool things I love, like hang out and screw hot chicks!", smirked Chris as he left the ship.  
  
Meanwhile, over at the beach, Tifa, Aeris and Yuffie were trying to decide which guys they wanted to target. It was a tough decision.  
  
"What about that guy over there?", Tifa thought.  
  
"Nah, he's too ugly!", shrieked Aeris. "I prefer that one standing next to the umbrella."  
  
"Ew! You have *bad* taste in men, Aeris!", Yuffie puked. "I'm goin' for a lie down!"  
  
She wandered towards an empty sunbed and made herself comfortable. She sprawled her body out all over the bed and began to soak up the sun.  
  
"Ah! Now this... is livin'!", she smiled.  
  
"Yeah?! Well, I didn't even like her anyway! You're welcome to her!", shouted a familiar voice.  
  
"What?! Oh, Gawd! I don't friggin' believe this!", Yuffie screamed. She sat up from her sunbed and looked around the beach. To her left, she could see Tifa and Aeris eyeing up the local surfers. To her right, she could see Chris, the cocky thief who stole the party's gil. He was argueing with a couple of teenage lovers. "Please don't let him see me! Please don't let him see me!"  
  
"Alright, alright! I'm goin'!", Chris grumbled as he stormed off from the couple.  
  
"Yes! Yes! Go up the steps! Up the steps!", Yuffie cheered quietly.  
  
"My, my! Yuffie! Well, I didn't expect to see you here!", Chris had noticed her. "Want me to give you a rub down?"  
  
"E-Excuse me?!"  
  
"With the suntan lotion? You really should protect yourself, y'know? If you don't, then you're gonna get cancer.", he explained. "Wait-a-minute, how did you get here so fast? I didn't see you onboard the ship."  
  
"Uh...", the young ninja struggled to come up with a good excuse. She didn't want to give away the whereabouts of the party, and she didn't want Chris to know that they were on to him about the stolen gil.  
  
"Well? I'm still waitin', babe."  
  
"...Oh Chris, you talk too much! C'mere baby!"  
  
Yuffie pulled Chris down onto the sunbed, and started kissing him passionately. Chris closed his eyes and succumbed to her desire.  
  
"Oh my God! Is that Yuffie over there?! Yuffie having it away with some young buck?!", Aeris bloated, as she and Tifa watched from the other end of the beach.  
  
"I think it is!", howled Tifa. "Hehe! She's not holding back, huh?!"  
  
"Yeah, but if she got lucky, then I'm sure we will too!"  
  
"Tifa! Aeris! Wha' up?!"  
  
It was Barrett. He wobbled over toward the two girls, giggling like a maniac. He was drunk.  
  
"Barrett? Look's like you've been drinking! Where's Cloud?", asked Tifa.  
  
"H-He's still over at the bar...", he slurred. "I-I come, uh, came over to ask if you chicks wanna join us. W-Where's that little pecker Yuffie?"  
  
"Um, she's kinda busy right now.", gurgled Aeris.  
  
"Uh-huh! But we're not! There's no action here, so we might aswell go get drunk. C'mon Aeris!", yelled Tifa.  
  
Barrett, Tifa and Aeris headed off to the tavern. As they walked past, Chris raised his sweating head.  
  
"Wow! Geez, I need some air! You're amazin' Yuffie! Man, I've never met a chick like you before!", he exclaimed. "I'm gonna recommend you to all my friends! You won't be disap... Holy crap! It's them! It's those Midgar freaks!"  
  
"Huh?! Wha?! What are you talking about?! T-There's no-one there!", paniced Yuffie. "Now do you want access to all area's or not?!"  
  
"No, seriously! It was them! The funny lookin' girl with the pink dress and the sexy bar owner! I'd recognise those big pair of... eyes anywhere. They're walkin' up those steps with some gun-arm dude! Oh my God! They're tryin' to kill me!"  
  
"You beasts!", screamed Yuffie. "W-Why would they be lookin' for you anyway?"  
  
"...No reason."  
  
"Chris, if we're goin' to be an item, then you're gonna haveta be honest with me!"  
  
"An item?! You and me?! Uh, you're a super chick, but, uh... I'm not ready for a relationship yet. 'Sides, I hate bein' honest! I-I have to get outta here!"  
  
"Outta here?! No, no you can't!", Yuffie knew she had to keep Chris from leaving town. If she could keep him here just a little longer, then maybe she could inform Cloud and bust his ass. She had to persuade him to stay put. "Chris, I-I love you! Don't leave me!"  
  
"...Wha?", he was stunned. "Like I said, you're a super chick, but I gotta go! Bye hotstuff!"  
  
Chris leapt off the sunbed and dashed away up through the town.  
  
"Dammit!", snarled Yuffie. "That guy is such a pain in the butt! I have to warn the old timers!"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	6. A Countdown To Victory: 6th Time Lucky

FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
AUTHORS NOTE: THE CHARACTER CHRIS MADE HIS DEBUT APPEARENCE IN 'A COUNTDOWN TO CONFUSION'. SINCE THEN HE HAS APPEARED IN A NUMBER OF MY OTHER FICS, SO YOU MAY WANNA READ THEM BEFORE READING THIS, TO GET THE FULL BACKGROUND ON HIM.  
  
'A Countdown To Victory'  
  
"Y'know Cloud, y-you're my best friend...", slurred a drunken Barrett.  
  
"Yeah, you're m-my best friend too...", Cloud stuttered in response.  
  
"Knock it off, you two!", Tifa yelled. "W-We have to try and stay sober for when that Chris jerk turns up!"  
  
"L-Lighten up, Tifa...", groaned Aeris. "We've got burp plenty of time!"  
  
Cloud, Barrett, Tifa and Aeris were all sat at the bar in the sunny seaside resort of the Costa Del Sol. They were waiting for Chris to show his face, but had managed to get rather drunk in doing so.  
  
"Barkeep!", Barrett shouted. "Four more beers please! A-And don't spit in 'em this time!"  
  
Suddenly, Yuffie burst into the bar screaming and waving her arms about.  
  
"You guys! You have to come quick!"  
  
"H-Hey, Yuffie! J-Join us, woncha?!", gurgled Barrett. "Barkeep, another beer here!"  
  
"Oh, Gawd!", Yuffie sighed. "They're all drunk! And there's nothin' more embarrassin' than a bunch of drunken old farts!"  
  
"S-Sit down Yuffie!", giggled Cloud. "W-We were just saying how much we all burp love you!"  
  
"Ergh! Listen up people, we have a crisis at hand! Chris was just here!"  
  
"C-Chris? Who the hell he?", bloated Barrett.  
  
"Duh! He's the guy we've been chasing, remember?! Look, he saw you guys and got all freaked out, then he left town! I think he headed towards Mount Corel! If we're quick, then we might just catch him!"  
  
"Y-Yeah, we all love you very much Yuffie! You're so cute and young and full of life!", Cloud laughed.  
  
"Dammit! They're not even listening! Well, if you're not gonna get off your asses and go after that scumbag, then I guess I'll have to go it alone! Good day!"  
  
Yuffie darted off out of the bar and ran off into the countryside.  
  
"S-She's weird.", Aeris barfed up over Cloud. "S-Sorry, Clawd!"  
  
Meanwhile, Chris himself was wandering along the abandoned train tracks of Mount Corel.  
  
"Ah!", he smiled. "What a beautiful day for a walk! It should take about ten more minutes before I reach that awful town, North Corel. Man, I hate that place, but I have to go through there, since thats the only way to reach the Gongaga without transport. I wish I had an airship like that one I saw in Junon. Now that was somethin' else!"  
  
Yuffie had left the Costa Del Sol too. As she ran along the old train tracks, she could just about make out the moving figure in the distance.  
  
"Chris!", she thought to herself. "Heh, I'll get that loser, and reclaim that stinkin' money! Yeah, the party will be real happy with me then! I'll show them what Yuffie Kisaragi can do when she puts her mind to it!"  
  
Back at the Costa Del Sol, the party had managed to sober themselves up. They emerged from the dark bar and entered the bright outdoors.  
  
"Whew! My head is pounding!", grumbled Cloud. "I'm never gonna drink that much again!"  
  
"Cloud, you only had two beers!", Barrett growled. "But I have to agree with ya, no more heavy drinkin' for me either!"  
  
"So, what do you guys wanna do now?", asked Tifa.  
  
"Well, lets go to the beach for a few hours, and then get down to some serious drinkin' back at the bar!", suggested Barrett.  
  
"Sounds good to me! Cloud?", wondered Aeris.  
  
"Sure, why not?", Cloud agreed. "Wait! Hold up! I get the strangest feeling that we've forgotten something..."  
  
The party stood in silence for a while, until Cloud eventually spoke up.  
  
"Of course! Chris! We have to find Chris!"  
  
"Geez, we better go check to see if his ship has docked in!", Barrett yelled.  
  
The party ran down to the docks. There was a huge ocean cruiser at the port. A smart looking sailor stod next to it.  
  
"Excuse me, Mr. Sailor sir. Do you know if the ship from Junon has come in yet?", Cloud questioned.  
  
"Sir, you are standing in its presence!", the sailor smirked.  
  
"Oh, crap!", mumbled Cloud.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	7. A Countdown To Victory: Lucky 7777's

FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
AUTHORS NOTE: THE CHARACTER CHRIS MADE HIS DEBUT APPEARENCE IN 'A COUNTDOWN TO CONFUSION'. SINCE THEN HE HAS APPEARED IN A NUMBER OF MY OTHER FICS, SO YOU MAY WANNA READ THEM BEFORE READING THIS, TO GET THE FULL BACKGROUND ON HIM.  
  
'A Countdown To Victory'  
  
"Howdy! What can I do you for?"  
  
"Ew! I would never have sex with a guy! Unless of course my life depended on it, which it doesn't, so you can just go to hell!", snarled Chris.  
  
"...I-I was just welcomin' you to our village. I-I'm sorry if I offended you, sir."  
  
Chris had just arrived in the small mining town of North Corel. A friendly villager had greeted him upon his arrival, but Chris had taken things the wrong way.  
  
"Oh, uh, no, my bad.", slurred Chris. "I thought you were talkin' about... uh, nevermind. Look, I'm pretty tired. Is there any place I can rest up in this town?"  
  
"Don't ask me! What would I know?! Damn, you're a complete jackass, mister!", growled the villager as he turned and walked away. "Ergh, some people!"  
  
"...Homo!", Chris thought to himself.  
  
Suddenly, he was unexpectedly pushed to the ground by someone standing behind him. He struggled to get back up, but a force came down upon him, pinning him down.  
  
"Argh! Argh! P-Please, don't kill me! I didn't do nothing!"  
  
"I got a few folks from Midgar that might disagree with you there, Chris.", said a familiar voice.  
  
"Y-Yuffie?!", Chris exclaimed. "Geez, what the hell are you doin'?! Lemme go, girl!"  
  
"Not until you hand over the gil you swiped from Seventh Heaven!", shouted Yuffie.  
  
"I-I don't know what you're talking about! I... Argh!", he screamed as Yuffie twisted his arm. "Y-You're with them, aren't you?! The people I saw back in the Costa Del Sol?!"  
  
"Yeah! And despite everything, they're nice people, and they don't deserve this kind of treatment! So hand over the gil and I might just let you go! Hey, you wouldn't wanna argue with that gun-arm dude, would ya?!"  
  
"O-Okay! It-Its in my pocket! In the brown bag!"  
  
Yuffie put her hand inside Chris's pocket and began feeling around for the bag.  
  
"Oooh! You've still got the touch Yuffie! Yeah! Yeah, you're a bad girl!"  
  
"Shut up!", Yuffie yelled. "There! Got it!"  
  
She pulled the brown bag out of his pocket. She gave it a little shake and could hear the gil rattling around inside it.  
  
"Success! Now, get the hell outta here, and never bother my friends again!"  
  
She leapt off Chris and made a dash back toward Mt. Corel. Chris picked himself up off the ground.  
  
"Yuffie, can you ever forgive me?"  
  
"Forgive you?!", Yuffie bloated. "You're seriously warped. I don't want anything to do with you ever again."  
  
"Come on! Surely you've done a little light handed thievery in your time?"  
  
"...No comment!"  
  
"Alright. You go back to your friends. I bet they'll be real happy with you. But remember this, Yuffie... We're not so different after all."  
  
"Hey, I'm nothin' like you!", Yuffie scowled.  
  
"If you say so.", sighed Chris. "Oh well, I guess I'll see ya around."  
  
"Not if I can help it!", she mumbled.  
  
Chris walked off into North Corel. Yuffie darted off back over the mountain. She looked down at the bag of gil in her hand, and opened it. Her mouth dropped in awe.  
  
"Holy crap! There's about 30,000 gil in here!", she checked her surroundings before inspecting the bag once more. "...I could afford lots of shiny new materia with this cash! Oh, all those different kinds... Magic... Support... Summon...!"  
  
She gave a sneaky grin, and was just about to turn around and walk back into North Corel when a cold hand gripped her shoulder.  
  
"Argh! Don't touch me!", she squealed as she swung her head round to face the person. "Barrett?!"  
  
"Hey, Yuffie. Wha's up?", Barrett laughed. "You went off on your own. We were worried about you."  
  
"...Why?"  
  
Just then, Cloud, Tifa and Aeris dropped from above. They landed on their feet in front of Barrett and Yuffie.  
  
"Woah! Quite a drop from high up there! We all okay?", said Cloud.  
  
"Yep! Fine, Cloud!", giggled Tifa and Aeris.  
  
"Yuffie, why did you run off without us? That was very irresponsible of you.", whailed Barrett.  
  
"...You guys were drunk.", she quickly hid the bag of gil behind her back. "I-I had to catch that Chris dude, with or without your help. I couldn't let him get away with our gil, could I?"  
  
"So, did you find him yet?", wondered Aeris.  
  
"N-No, not yet. B-But I think he went that way.", she pointed toward North Corel.  
  
"Corel?", Barrett questioned. "C'mon, we have to stop that loser from gettin' any further! Let's go!"  
  
"Y-You guys go on ahead. I-I'll catch up with you later."  
  
"Are you okay, Yuffie? You seem a little off-edge.", Cloud slurred.  
  
"I-I'm fine!"  
  
"Wait! What's that you're hiding behind your back?", Tifa frowned.  
  
"N-Nothing! Just nothing!"  
  
"Don't look like nothin'!", Barrett spun her around which caused her to drop the brown bag of gil she was carrying. "Our gil!"  
  
"H-How did that get there, I wonder?!", Yuffie gurgled.  
  
"Yuffie! It was you all along wasn't it! Y-You stole our gil!", growled Tifa as she picked up the bag. "And all this time you led us to believe that that poor Chris had taken it! How horrible!"  
  
"I-I didn't steal it, honest! I-I found it on the rails just now!", she paniced.  
  
"You've got some damn explainin' to do!", howled Barrett.  
  
"Gotta catch me first!"  
  
Yuffie pushed past the party, knocking Aeris off the edge of the train tracks. The ancient hurtled towards the hard ground below at an alarming rate. A few seconds later a gigantic crash was heard.  
  
"Oh my God! They killed Aeris!", screamed Tifa.  
  
"You beasts!", yelled Cloud.  
  
"Dammit!", Barrett scowled in anger. "Oh well, at least we got our money back! Let's go celebrate back at the Costa Del Sol with a nice cool beer!"  
  
"Yeah!", cheered Cloud and Tifa.  
  
THE END__________ 


End file.
